Look up “bad idea” in the dictionary, and you’ll find a photo of me, a big bag of chocolate covered coffee beans washed down with a large coffee in a timespan of about 10 minutes.
I think I’ve had so much coffee today, I’m unbelievably wired and I think my hands and my eyeballs are shaking a bit.
Dear oh dear I could do with a quiet relaxing weekend and a couple of LUSH bathbombs…
To go with the seasonal spirit and all that… That Canadian Girl proudly presents: The Chav Nativity. Best read by an Essex girl.
There’s this bird called Mary, yeah? She’s a virgin (wossat then?) She’s not married or nuffink, but she’s got this boyfriend, Joe, innit? He does joinery an’ that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref. One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She’s like `Oo ya lookin at?’ Gabriel just goes ‘You got one up the duff, you have.’ Mary’s totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large ‘Stop dissin’ me yeah? I ain’t no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!’
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who’s six months gone herself. Liz is largin’ it. She’s filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an’ that. She’s like ‘Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I’m well blessed. Think of all the extra weez gonna get on the social an’ that.’ Mary goes ‘Yeah, s’pose you’re right’ Mary an’ Joe ain’t got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an’ go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an’ Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an’ that. But there ain’t no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an’ Joe break an’ enter into this garridge, only it’s filled wiv animals. Cahs an’ sheep an’ that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their ‘eads.
They’re like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus’, an’ say they’re wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: ‘If you’re so wise, wotchoo doin’ wiv this Frankenstein an’ myrrh?
Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?’ It’s all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an’ sez he’s got another message from this Lord geezer. He’s like ‘The police is comin an’ they’re killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.’ Joe goes ‘You must be monged if you think I’m goin’ dahn Egypt on a minging donkey’ Gabriel sez ‘Suit yerself, pal. But it’s your look out if you stay.’ So they go dahn Egypt till they’ve stopped killin the first-born an’ it’s safe an’ that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an’ Jesus turns water into Stella.
(found on Mikey’s blog, after reading at a friend’s house. Unsure of author, likely to be Vicky Pollard.)
Neat Dutch competition on “latte art”.
While I may be a bit surprised to come across the Loch Ness Monster in my latte, the competition is original and unusual!
Just for my dad, a now-retired high school teacher… Calvin & Hobbes hope for a snow day.
The wishful thinking of any good Canadian student between December and March.
(Borrowed from uComics.)
As a note to all Mac OS X users, there’s this fantastic Dashboard Widget called “Say Cheese!”, which allows you to read about 30 of the most popular cartoons daily, including Dilbert, Calvin & Hobbes, Ctrl-Alt-Del, straight from the Dashboard.
Wow, nearly a week since I blogged… Geez, I didn’t think having a social life and a busy job would affect my blogging that much!
Thursday night, we had some friends over for one of their birthdays and had raclette (which consisted of about 3 tons of cheese each) and birthday cake. Friday, while we had the evening off, I spent it painting my nails and relaxing (and recovering from the previous evening!)
Saturday night was amazing. We knew we were in for some good fun, as Andrew’s parents were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary and had made some secret plans for us. We knew it involved dressing up and going to London but that’s about it. Turns out we went to Floridita, a Cuban restaurant and dance club.
The evening started with some Mojitos and some nice food and ended with some fun dancing. I’ll be putting the photos online later, but I’ve got to say it was a memorable evening! It’s a wonder my feet weren’t killing me the next day!
I just can’t believe how fast 2005 is coming to an end. Yet another very eventful year for the little Canadian girl… Oh but what am I talking about! It’s not over yet, still nearly a twelfth of it left to go, and it’s looking like a busy one!
